Transitions
by Voyfemme
Summary: Janeway and Chakotay deal with the impact of Seven of Nine on the crew and on themselves, separately JCPairing:JCRating: PG13Type of Story: DramaLevel: 2


**Part 8: The Dark Pages**

**Page 3: Transitions**

Summary:

Janeway and Chakotay deal with the impact of Seven of Nine on the crew and on themselves, separately (J/C)

_Pairing:_J/C _Rating_: PG-13 _Type of Story:_ Drama _Level_: 2

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* * *

Part 8: The Dark Pages**

**Page 3: Transitions**

"Father it is good to see you."

Indeed it was. Chakotay had put off making this vision quest for a long time. He had a feeling that he wouldn't be prepared for the honesty that the quest would entail. He hadn't asked to see his spirit guide either. Somehow he knew that the person to guide him at this time would be his father. His father would also be gentler with him than she would. When Chakotay had that thought, he gave a smile. The people that he talked to in his vision quest were representatives of his truest self, the spirit of his father that dwelt within him. That meant that he was the only person being hard on himself, gentle with himself.

"Walk with me Chakotay"

They walked together in silence. Chakotay thought he recognized where they were on earth in one of the preserved woodlands in the northern hemisphere. It seemed familiar and yet alien. He didn't give anything more than this passing thought to his surroundings. There was so much he wanted to say to his father, but he thought that he could not find the right words. But he had to start somewhere.

"Kes is no longer with us"

"I know, I felt the heavens welcome her addition. I know that you are in great sorrow over her departure, but it is where she needs to be now."

"Great Mother chose well when she chose her for our crew, our tribe"

"Yes she did. She knows of your great loss Chakotay, when the time is right she will send another. He or she will be the new vehicle through which she will guide your tribe."

"He?" Chakotay was surprised. He thought that all of the messengers were female.

"Great Mother chooses whom she wills, male or female. I'm surprised at you Chakotay, the belief that only a woman can be the soul of a tribe is very ancient" His father smiled.

"The crew is having a hard time with this. A lot of people are distracted. The department heads have all complained about it. Others are just as diligent as they used to be, but bouts of homesickness and loneliness have increased dramatically according to Neelix. He looks like Hell, he's trying to be there for everyone, but he's hurting more than most. Even Tom with his flippant manner has been more serious than I have ever seen him. And B'Elanna is more quiet."

"They are in mourning, as you are."

"I know."

They were silent for a long while.

"You never used to talk about these things with me before."

Chakotay's face became clouded.

"I used to be able to talk these things with the Captain. We had a major disagreement a couple of weeks ago. We're all right now, but it's still uncomfortable to talk about these things with her. She is also one of the people who is having a hard time with Kes' departure."

"How can the two be 'all right' if you are not able to be who you are with her.?"

"It will take time father."

Chakotay opened his eyes and found himself back in his quarters. He got off the floor and walked to the view port in his quarters. He watched and thought that he could see the stars and planets outline Kes' form. He also thought that he could see her face, full of wonder as she went through her new experiences. He felt selfish for wanting her back on the ship.

He hadn't lied to his father. He hadn't spoken to the captain about the crew's behavior. He left it on a PADD with the rest of the ships status reports. He didn't want to bring up the subject of Kes. They were both tip toeing around each other as it was. To bring up a sensitive issue now was to ask that everything that was unresolved be brought to light and he was not prepared for that and he didn't think that she was.

He sighed. He felt weary down to his bones. It was time for bed, he had an early watch in the morning. He doubted he would sleep well that night. He hadn't been ever since the long range sensors picked up that first Borg cube.

* * *

"Personal Log Supplemental.

It has been a good day, the first in a long time. We've managed to avoid making another enemy in the Delta Quadrant and we were able to help a race start to rebuild their civilization after the Borg. I was also able to retrieve Lts. Paris and Torres alive. The most interesting accomplishment for me this day was Seven of Nine's behavior. She has only been human again for less than two weeks and already I can see in her behavior her humanity asserting itself.

She was so young when she was assimilated. She doesn't know what it is like to be human. Of all her pleas, that was the one that touched my heart and made me realize the magnitude of the task before me. All she knew how to be, all that she wanted to be was a Borg drone and now she has been forced into this existence. I look at her now and I don't see a being that was our enemy, someone to be feared. I see a child in a woman's body, a person with an adult mind and intelligence but the emotional capability of a child. Her growing in emotional maturity is going to have to happen as an adult instead of a child, her teenage years are now in her twenties. Her emotions are now thriving now that most of the Borg technology has been removed. Now I ask myself, how do you teach an adult who has not dealt with them for over twenty years to deal with them now? Most of what humans learn in way of dealing with emotions comes from experience, most of them painful. There are going to be some tough times ahead for her and members of this crew as she interacts with them.

In a way, dealing with her transition has caused me to resurrecting the old argument. What has a greater effect on a person's humanity, their nature or their nurture. Underneath all of that Borg technology is a human being physically. We've managed to restore her physiology so at least 90 of it is human. What about psychologically? She was Borg for so long, that was her nature and her nurture. Under all that Borg mentality is there a human being? I believe that there is and her act of kindness today confirms it to me.

There is another question that flows from this transition. What does it mean to be human? Where is the line where we can say this human and this is not? What is essential for someone to be considered human? How much can you take away before a person stops being human, and starts being something else? Is the process irrevocable? Is it something that is cultural so we can say "this is human cuisine and this is not" or these are "human ethics and this is not" and therefore it can be learnt, or is it something that is ingrained, something that is part of our biological make up and science hasn't been able to isolated it yet?

I can still hear her saying, "I don't know what it is to be human" Do I know what it is? How am I going to teach all that is necessary? Would I be able to integrate her into the crew? Would they be able to get over their initial disgust of having a former member of the Borg and help in her new life as a human being? I know that they resent, fear, and some hate her outright. I can see it on their faces. Hear it in their voices when they talk about her. B'Elanna practically spat her words out to her in Engineering. Would I be able to make them see what I see in her, not a creature to be loathed or feared, but a human being who is just beginning to regain all that was taken from her?

I have to. She is part of the crew now and we need to be able to depend on each other in this unfamiliar region of space we need to..."

Kathryn stopped. A large heaviness descended onto her heart. She knew why. But she had to finish the log.

"be able to support one another."

Quietly she added.

"We're all that we have out here.

End Log"

Kathryn willed her body to go slack on the couch in her quarters

The transformation of Seven was the last thing that Kathryn and Chakotay talked about willingly and openly. The only time that they mentioned it was when they had to, when there were duty assignments and medical considerations to take under advisement. She could see it when she talked to him about her in those times. She had tried to warm him up to Seven of Nine by showing him who she was before she was assimilated. Still, his face always hardened and he was like a voice in her ear saying that it wouldn't work. Seven was Borg and she will always be Borg, no matter what Kathryn did to make her human again. Sometimes he didn't even have to say it in so many words, his words, actions, posture just translated into that sentiment.

Kathryn felt herself grow angry.

_Damn you Chakotay! I don't want to have to fight you on this too. I don't want to have to do this without your support. I know that the New Co-operative hurt you, that Riley hurt you, but that is no reason not to give Seven a chance. Damn it, step outside of yourself for a minute._

The thought echoed so loudly in her head that she thought she had spoken aloud. Her hands were balled into fists. She was sitting rigid and upright on the couch where she had been reclining a moment ago. She felt her tension and willed herself to go slack. She knew that was the reason why Chakotay had been so opposed to her plan in the first place. He couldn't see beyond what was done to him. He refused to understand the threat that 8472 could have been to the entire quadrant just because he didn't want to have anything to do with a race who taken advantage of him, even when the lives of the crew, and possibly the entire universe were at stake.

Kathryn gave a short bitter laugh

_And to think when that happened I was sexually attracted to him and I was jealous of Dr Fraiser. Six months later, look at us? I would have never thought that we would have ever been so far apart from each other, that our friendship would have been so strained._

Bitterness and sadness ate at her and she did the one thing that she knew what to do in that situation.

"Janeway to bridge."

"Paris here, Captain"

"Lt. Paris did Lt. Torres hand in the report on the performance ..."

In the end, that was what she was, Captain of the lost Federation Starship Voyager, trying to get her crew home.

Single-handedly.

* * *

"We have a new passenger Father"

Chakotay and Kolopec were sitting on a rocky incline overlooking one of the seas on his home world. The sun was about to set. A small breeze blew against his back and the day was warm. It was summer. The waves below them seem to be gently lapping the shore, like a kitten with warm milk. It was tranquil and Chakotay tried to modify his mood to correspond with his surroundings. It didn't work. Not because he didn't want it to, but because of the nature of the subject that he was about to discuss with his father.

"Who is she?"

"Her name is Seven of Nine, she is an ex-Borg drone."

"Her presence on the ship must be difficult for you."

"Yes it is. The captain thinks that she can become human again. I don't think so, I think that the moment she is able to do so, she will betray us."

"You are not giving her a chance to prove your thoughts about her are wrong Chakotay."

Chakotay stared intently at this father. He had this urge to make his father understand how wrong it was to take that attitude with any member of the collective, active or ex. He had to show him how wrong he was in thinking that Seven of Nine could be anything but Borg.

"I know the Borg father. I was linked to their mind, I felt their thoughts and in the end, they forced their collective will on me. They did that after they had helped heal me, after we had given them supplies and helped them defend themselves against their neighbors. They are not to be trusted." His voice had grown lower and harsher with each word.

Kolopec looked at him and his eyes got a little sadder as they rested at his son who was so unsettled. He turned back to the sunset.

"I thought that they were no longer connected to the collective?"

Chakotay formed a triumphant thought, but he toned it down when he uttered the actual sentence.

"That is my point father. People who were Borg for six years and were then severed from the collective chose of their own free will to join a new one. How much so will this one be able to resist the call to her true nature, after twenty years of being Borg?"

Chakotay calmed his voice and changed tactics. His father had been watching him throughout his speech but said nothing.

"I know that this is one of the Captain's reclamation projects, but this time she is in way over head. Seven of Nine is not Tom."

"Do you trust her Chakotay?"

"IT HAS NOTHING TO DO WITH IT. IT IS NOT THE ISSUE HERE! The issue here is a Captain who is willing to put her ship, her crew and herself in mortal danger because she can't see past what she wants for her crew, for herself. She doesn't heed the consequences of her actions." Chakotay had jumped up from his sitting position and was standing peering down at his father. An expression of pure rage was on his face. He continued to shout.

"What did we leave behind in Borg space? What were the consequences of our actions? Have we helped the Borg assimilate 8472? And if so, what monster have we created? I think about that a lot, as much as I am grateful that we are past their space and we left without committing genocide, I have to wonder." Chakotay stamped his heel and turned away from his father.

"She wouldn't listen to me." He spoke through clenched teeth. "We could have avoided all of it and she wouldn't listen to me. She couldn't see beyond getting this crew home." Suddenly he whirled and faced his father

"You're asking about the issue of me trusting her, what about the issue of _her trusting me_?" His eyes were blazing as he waited for his father to answer

Kolopec looked at his son with love and said quietly,

"I think the real issue here is, do you trust yourself?"

The sun set completely at that moment and darkness fell.

Chakotay's mouth flew open and with that action his eyes opened also. Again he was back in his quarters.

The End

**Part 8: The Dark Pages**

**Page 4: Shattered Peace**


End file.
